Band Aids Cure Everything

Dylan had a bit of a virus when I came back from Chicago.  He was a little off his game on Friday, but then the weekend came.  It was visitation weekend, and those are always so tough on his little body. 

Saturdays, we've arranged for Dylan to play with Daddy at the local Gymboree.  There is a class at 10:30, and an open gym at 12:45.  His dad has chosen the 12:45 open gym, which falls smack in the middle of Dylan's nap time.  When he's well, he rebounds from being rousted for a romp by sleeping for two or more hours when he gets home.  This time, it didn't go over well--he cried the entire time.  By the time I got him home, he had a low fever and slept for 2 hours, was awak for 2 more, and was back to bed for the entire night. 

Sundays are longer, a five hour day at Daddy's.  At Daddy's, the crib is in the living room instead of in a separate area.  For this or some other reason, Dylan will only nap between 30 and 45 minutes.  Like Saturday, this is easily fixed with an extended second nap as soon as he gets home.  Dylan is quite the trooper, and he is still able to go to bed at a reasonable hour and doesn't seem to be affected by it on Monday.  But, this weekend Dylan was sick.  I sent him to Daddy's with Tylenol and a thermometer, but I'm not sure if neither got used or if he developed a fever during his post-visit nap. Either way, it was almost 102, and his body was hurting.

He couldn't figure out where the hurt was coming from, so he'd point at his knees and say "Mama..wa-wa!  Banai.  Mama?" (Translation:  Mommy, I hurt.  Please give me a band aid.)  So, I put band aids on each of his knees.  The next day, we also ended up with band aids on each hand and arm (four total).  They seem to bring him comfort.  Here is is, watching Caillou with his band aids, blanket, baby, and ball.  All the B's that make a sick boy happy. 

As a parting note - Dylan has got to be the number one best sick toddler ever.  He's super whiny, but snugly and sweet, too.  I took him to the doctor on Monday and he was back at daycare with no fever on Tuesday.  He also takes his Amoxicillin like a champ - sucks it down out of the dropper.

Caillou

Caillou is a blessing and a curse.  It is the only show that Dylan will watch, but he wants to watch it all the time, now!  I started in on Caillou as a way to ease into weaning, then when I came back from Chicago to a sick little man, it was my lifesaver and allowed me to sleep with Dylan on my lap while he watched hours upon hours of Caillou.  Now, we are weaning off of Caillou, too.

No Biggie

Day two was amazing!  I took a different approach when Dylan woke up and asked for nai-nai.  I didn't say yes or no, but offered him juice, water, or milk--he chose juice.  We collected his babies and went to watch Caillou.  He asked a few times and complained when the answer was no, but no crying at all.  That night was our last nursing ever.  It made me sad, and Dylan was so cooperative--no fidgeting and distractions or poking my face or anything.  And that's that.

Yesterday, he hardly even cared about nai-nai in the morning.  He laughed at the cat and we went directly to the kitchen for milk and a nectarine morning snack.  He also opted for a yogurt squeeze.  But, we didn't even watch Caillou as a distraction and he was ready to go see ya-ya as soon as I got him dressed.  Last night we went to grandma and grandpa's for dinner.  He asked me for nai-nai as we were driving, but I told him, "No, sorry, boo, no more nai-nai.  It's all gone."  He didn't request the nai-nai chair at grandpa's (But, he did get upset when grandpa sat in it--I mean come on that's mama's chair!) and was too excited about all the activities going on to even notice.

This morning, he didn't even ask for it when he got up.  I was dead tired, so we sat & watched Caillou together (in the nai-nai chair).  He asked once later in the morning, but didn't get upset at all. 

Tomorrow morning, I leave for Chicago for a whole week!  So many changes for him all at once, and he's taking it in a stride.  Thank God for my mom and dad--my mom will be staying at my place and they will both be watching/caring for him.

Heart-wrenching

Today was the first morning of no nursing.  I'm working towards weaning Dylan.  He's been on a once-in-the-morning, once-at-night schedule for a very long time because he goes to daycare.  I stopped sending him with prepared bottles ages ago, too, because he really wasn't into milk out of a bottle or sippy (of any form) until very recently (rice milk is his favorite). 

This is a boy who celebrates his "nai-nai" (what we call nursing).  He revels in it, pleads for it, lavishes praises on all things related to it (the chair, the blanket, my bras).  In fact, he has named other comfort objects very similarly--na-na is either his blanket or his binky.  I can't change my shirt in front of the little guy without him pulling at me, mouth gaping open, imploring me to go sit in the nai-nai chair.  But, for some reason, I didn't think that it would be this tough.  He's slowed in interest, and is super easy to divert from his intentions when he asks for "off schedule" nai-nai time.  Eliminating other times - like mid-day on weekends or the pre-bedtime session - were a breeze.  In fact, yesterday, it felt like he almost forgot about it altogether until the last minute.

But, we've been "talking" about it--enough so that he was repeating "all gone", "no more" each time he nursed.  This morning, when I went to get him from his room, he asked for it and I said, "No, baby, I'm sorry.  No more this morning." and he KNEW it was different.  He cried, begged, pulled together all the nursing "essentials"--his Baby, his blanket, even the juice sippy I gave him.  He wanted to be in my lap, but twisted and cried and threw himself on the floor.  He hit me, and then sat, tears streaming down his face; his big, dark, glistening eyes staring right into mine.

All my usual diversion techniques were out the window.  No offer was appealing or ebbed the flow of emotion.  I took him to his bedroom (where we don't ever nurse) and tried to read books.  Finally, I just started crying, too.  He stopped for a moment and watched me cry, looking very concerned. 

It felt like forever, but the clock tells me that it was 15 minutes.  It was Caillou that saved us.  We sat together on the nai-nai chair with Baby, blanket, and sippy all piled on and watched Caillou.  Every so often, he'd remember that he was sad and plead with me 'one more time'.  Then, he asked for the cookie ("gook") I'd offered him earlier (I prepared for this by buying Trail Mix Cookies from Trader Joes--yum!).  He let me change him and get him ready for the day--and once that was done, the morning's pain was gone for him.  We talked about daycare and how he'd see Miss Ladan (ya-ya) and his friends (Jo-na, no push!) and out the door we went like nothing had happened.

My poor sweet little mister is growing up.  He looked like such a big boy today with his jeans and collar shirt on, standing cookie in one hand, Baby in the other (Baby is actually a soft white teddy bear) watching the last moments of Caillou before we headed out for the day.

Share

Dylan is pretty good at sharing.  He'll share his toys & food readily if asked...even if he says, "No, mine!" before handing it over.

Over the weekend, he had to deal with some really tough issues, and I think he did great.

Not all Balls Belong to Dylan

We like to walk through the park to the playground.  The path borders a soccer field that is occasionally in use (more now that the season has started).  This weekend was Dylan's second passing during an actual game.  Like most toddlers, he loves balls; chasing them, throwing them, possessing them.  It is difficult for him to pass one by, which he must do if they don't belong to him.  But, a whole mass of unused balls and a field full of girls chasing after one ball...oh, that is torture. 

The first time around, it took pretty constant diverting to keep Dylan from either running out onto the field or snatching up one of the practice balls laying around.  This weekend, we passed the entire field without a single mention of the balls.  On our way back, he wanted to sit and watch for a moment, very near an unused ball.  I see the ploy now for what it was...soon as I got caught up in a play, he was off running for the ball.  He did get to it, but only moments before me.  We left the ball where it was and moved on for home without any objections from the ball thief himself.  Score one for the mom team!

Routines are Made for Breaking

My chair is wonderful - it rocks, it reclines, it's comfy, and I spend a huge majority of my day in it.  Dylan and I use that chair to nurse in.  Dylan gets a rhythm to things--he likes stuff and people to go where they belong.  He doesn't like the wrong person sitting in a chair.  I (we) indulge him on this most of the time.  "No, mama!  Dada!" means "No, mom!  That's grandpa's chair!", and I'll move to the correct chair.  But, this weekend, we had guests and one chose to sit in my chair (There are only two seats in my living room--where else would she sit?).  Dylan was upset about that, and reminded our guest in his most authoritative voice that this chair belongs to his mommy.  But, I told him we would share and said, "good job, mommy, for sharing" and the like until he came to terms with the whole idea.  Hospitality is not completely out of reach!

There are Other Blankets

Robin and Leah came over to watch the last of the Lost Season 1 with me this Sunday.  I had to go pick up Dylan with just 10 minutes left on one episode.  Being the rockin' girls that they are, they waited for me to get back to finish.  Well, talk about tough!  Dylan had to walk into a situation where his desires were second to what was already going on.  No Caillou cartoon, snacks already being eaten, and someone laying on the only blanket in the living room.  He soaked it all in.  We worked through the fact that Caillou wouldn't be put on TV.  We let him have his own snack.  But, the blanket was not forgivable.  He was intent on getting Leah to get up from the floor and give it to him.  She wanted to (bless her heart), but I said no.  He needs to get this concept and now is a good time for a lesson.  I brought his blanket out from his crib.  At first, he didn't want it, but he did work through it and got thank-yous all around for sharing.  Elapsed crisis period:  two minutes.

Dajek

I love Dylan's language explosion, and so does he!  When he masters a new word, he loves to use it and watch me clap and get excited.  It's been cold in the mornings here (finally!), so Dylan goes to daycare with a jacket, but I have to work at remembering to get it when we are headed home because it's hot again.  Yesterday, when I asked Miss Ladan to hand me one of his jackets to take him, Dylan said something that sounded like "dadeh".  It took me a moment to realize he was talking about his jacket.  Now, he's got it and asked for it over and over.  He's refined the pronunciation...to "dajek".  Love it! 

Oh - and he finally has started saying "wadah" instead of ba-ba, but not consistantly.

What Money Can Buy

Spray Park!  Why did I wait until Labor Day to find this place?!

Ok - Labor Day weekend is over.  It takes a lot of energy to entertain the little mister for three days without Grandpa around.  There's nobody to take him for a walk when I've run out of energy, nobody to make dinner while we play, nobody to tell Dylan he can look forward to seeing if he just endures the next 15 minutes in the car.  We've kept busy--it's the only defense I have--but, we've also lounged around quite a bit.  Wearing a guy down will do that.  This morning, he had no interest in going for a walk.  I did convince him to go out in his nudie fruities and paint on our deck, but that was it.  I took advantage and did laundry and then painted my toes.  Dylan wanted to paint his, too, so I did it for him.  Four different colors he picked out before I finally put the box away.

I was going to take him to the Folsom Aquatic Center with the meetup group.  But, after his nap, he was still cranky and wanting to nurse.  So we settled into the nai-nai chair and fell back asleep for another hour and half.  Once I knew we were late for the meetup, I changed our plans and went down to investigate Morse Park in Elk Grove.  Holy, holy!  It's obvious that we are not living on the money side of town--this park is amazing!  First of all, it's huge.  There's something for everyone; a spray park, tennis courts, big and little jungle gyms, a skate park, and an exercise loop.  Dylan insisted on wearing his long shirt--would not trade it for a lighter one.  I decided that at least it would protect him from the sun!

Dylan enjoyed the water, but like Chalk it Up, he got the most enjoyment out of watching.  Actually, until we hit the jungle gym, his favorite part was enjoying the echo in the bathrooms!

We made the most out all Morse Park had to offer and headed home.

Relaxing

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy

After Dylan's last visitation with his dad, he discovered the word "daddy" for real.  He'd tried it on for size a few times before, but something just clicked this time and he understood.  He spent several days picking up the phone and pretending to call daddy, "Daddy?  Bye-bye, Daddy."

He also confuses Grandpa (da-da) and Daddy (da-dee), so I can't be sure who he is talking about.  I'd like to give him a different word for Grandpa, but since he chose "da-da" (I always say "grandpa"), I don't really know how.

I have a book, Daddies are for Catching Fireflies, that has been sitting around unnoticed by Dylan.  A few nights ago, he discovered it.  He knew, either because it had been read to him at daycare or because of the picture on the cover, that it is about daddies.  He picked it up and said, "Daddy, book!"  That night, we read the Daddy book five times in a row--something he never asked for on any book before.  I finally petered out on it and slid it into his crib so he could read it at night if he wanted to. 

It's his new favorite book, and it makes me kind of sad.  Not because he's discovered Daddy and is excited about thinking about him.  That part makes me happy, even though it does remind me that we have tough times and tough conversations ahead.  The book goes something like this:  Daddy wears big shoes, Daddy teaches you to swim, Daddy does....and so on.  As I read the book, I realize that there are so few things in that book that are true for Dylan.  I need to get new Daddy books--ones that will fit his life a little better.  It will be hard enough for him to deal with divorced parents; he doesn't need a book reminding him that Daddy doesn't go off to work and come home looking for hugs or read him to sleep at night.  But, for now, the Daddy book stays at the top of our pile and is the go-to book for starting off pre-naptime and pre-bedtime reading marathons.

Chalk it Up

Sunday, Dylan and I went to a little festival downtown called "Chalk it Up to Sacramento".  Chalk it Up is an organization that funds art education for children.  At the festival, some squares are bought up individually (and become amazing works of art) and others are for general use (mostly kids). 

We took the lite rail from Rancho Cordova to the downtown stop, just one block from Chalk it Up.  This was Dylan's first lite rail ride.  He was surprisingly shy and clingy, opting to snuggle in my lap instead of climbing the walls.  Eventually, the seat across from us opened up and he was very excited to sit in his own seat!

At the festival, we bought three pieces of chalk for $5; red, blue, and green.  Dylan messed around a bit with doodling, but was way to distracted by all the kids drawing on the sidewalk.  He spent a lot of time just standing, holding his chalk, and watching all the goings on.

By the end of the day, both of us were covered in chalk.  I washed Dylan's face off, but it just looked like he had bruises all over his face!  :)

bruise face

We ordered two corn dogs and a strawberry lemonade.  yum!  We hung out with some friends from the meetup group, and I met a woman named Buffy with a 3 yr old daughter and really enjoyed meeting her!

On the way home, we stopped at Starbucks to use the bathroom and fuel me up with some caffeine.  Mr. Poopy Pants and I had a devil of a time changing his diaper in the bathroom.  I just haven't got the hang of wiping while he's standing up...but I am getting better at it!

We extended our adventure for the day by getting on the wrong lite rail train and hanging out at the Broadway station for a half hour.  It was so filthy and very hard to keep Dylan entertained and off the ground.  I had to really put my creative thinking cap on for that one!  But, the train came and we made it back without any mishaps.  Dylan was out like a light in the car on the way home, which made for a late night.

Hiking

Wild Man

I've been hiking with Dylan for months, but we took our most strenuous hike, yet, this weekend.  I made a HUGE decision and shelled out $200 for a few things:  fancy backpack, lite emergency kit, emergency blanket.  I know it's the wrong month to be doing this, and I know that there's no guaruntee that he'll even use it for as long as I need to in order to "earn back" my money.  But, my neck and shoulders are screaming for it, and my heart is yearning to get o-u-t out with this little guy.

I bought this Kelty off craigslist...and I've loved it.  Everyone comments on it like they wish they were the ones being shuttled around.  I realized recently, however, that it won't last much longer.

It was going great until our camping trip a couple weekends ago.  One day, we went for a long hike.  The next week, my neck and shoulders were totally shot.  I was in pain for days!

the load

The toughest part of hiking "single" is that there is nobody to split the load with you.  Everything (the kid, the lunch, the regular kid supplies, the emergency supplies) has to fit on your back.  The little detatchable "daypack" was perfect when a few diapers and a tiny snack was all it took.  Now, I've got two lunchpails beenered to the strap.  The weight load is all wrong, now!

Another problem:  the sun/rain cover--totally essential--pushes my neck forward...especially if the little mister takes a snooze!  I wish that there was better padding for him to rest his head on.

I've been trying to make it out with the Sacramento Hikers with Children; a meetup.com group that I found shortly after filing for divorce.  It's great to have people to hike with, for both safety and companionship.  It makes me realize how important it is to keep on hikin' with Dylan.  The kids whose parents are just getting around to hiking are fed up after a few minutes.  Those who've been out and about throughout their lives are happy to enjoy the entire hike.

Cool Group!

This group was, by far, the best.  I hope that they have more hikes I can go on.  It is difficult having only every other weekend AND fitting in a hike, but I need to keep it up for sure.  Yesterday, we went on a hike up to Horsetail Falls.  I was nervous because the description was all about how people have died and how unsafe it is.  But, Jeffery (the leader), encouraged me to give it a shot.  I am so glad he did!  The hike itself wasn't all that treacherous, although there were parts where I had to climb over rocks. 

part of the trail

Lovers Leap

Dylan did fantastic.  He loves his backpack, even asks for it when we are camping.  The hike up was about an hour and a half, including rest stops.  The hike down was much faster, and he slept most of the way.  The one thing he does not tollerate well is getting back in the pack after a fun stop--especially if the stop includes playing in water.  Now that he's older, instead of just crying, he protests, "No wanna!"

view from the top

first stop

We had a great lunch at the top of our hike, although it was still at the base of the falls.  We passed several hikers on their way up and over who were planning on staying overnight.  All that gear sure made me wish I could stay the night, too.  But, I don't have those kinds of friends...yet!

Horsetail Falls

So, after all this, I decided to sink the money into a carrier that holds more, sits better, and can last until Dylan is 50 pounds.  That doesn't mean he'll stay in it that long--that's really up to him.  Scary to make this kind of investment in the unknown.  But, oh the adventures we could have!  I'm excited just thinking about it!

And, on another note, I found a cool site for kids and hiking!  I hope that they have hikes we can go on because it's not easy to coordinate with the meetup folks exactly on the days I have Dylan.